Because When You're Robbed, You Need Your Husband

When your home is robbed and normalcy is ripped out from under you, what do you do? Once the police have come and gone, forensics has taken the prints they need and everything is locked up tight for the night, who can you turn to next?

Marriage is important in our society because it creates the bonds and relationships that people need to sustain themselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – especially when things go horribly wrong. Society functions because it allows to people to join together to support each other; otherwise, we’d be a bunch of lonely islands roaming around and probably leaning on the rest of society. Parents want their kids to be married so they have someone to help carry the emotional baggage of life … and so the kids don’t bring all the emotional baggage home every weekend with the laundry.

Marriage creates kinship, it gives an expectation of support, and it gives a loving, committed, emotionally connected shoulder to cry on. It’s something you don’t get from a roommate, a best friend, or even a parent. And yet, that shoulder is something many would deny gay Christians left and right. Not just marriage – that’s a boring picket line – but any relationship at all.

Without getting into all the details, there exists a philosophy of “sides” in the debate about being gay and Christian. This, of course, assumes the conversants aren’t damning gay people to hell in the first place, in which the question of relationship is obviously moot. But on one side (or school of thought), it’s thought that God made and loves and accepts all his children and wants for them to be in good, godly, loving relationship, gay or straight. The other side believes that while God may have made us gay and loves and accepts us all the same, there is a difference between gay orientation and behavior. In this view, gay people are to remain celibate (read: alone) their entire life. This latter view is the view held by the Catholic church, until recently a sizeable portion of the Presbyterians (USA), and many otherwise gay-friendly Christians who want to accept their friends, but “don’t want to condone the behavior.”

But if I’m made for relationship – and I very much am – then celibacy would not be good for me, spiritually or emotionally. And moreover, if I were forced into celibacy, who could I turn to and hug and hold when my house is robbed?

Yesterday afternoon the Beau went out to run some errands. He was gone for about two hours, tops, but during that time someone managed to break into our apartment and steal both of our computers, two of our cell phone power plugs (i have a third backup, thankfully), a small jewelry box, and 70 cents from the valet. He called me in tears and fright at about 4:30 and I raced home. The rest of the night was spent together, because we didn’t know what else to do.

And I kept thinking, if I didn’t have the Beau, I’d be alone right now, watching TV with no one to comfort me. This is what relationship is for – to have him there when I need him for comfort and support; and vice versa – I was there for him to call first in the mental and emotional cloud of a robbery.

Things are okay. We’re down two computers and somehow need to figure out the best way to get a replacements for at least one of them (and darn it were almost all paid up on our credit cards). We’re a little shaky, and overly cautious. I went to the landlord this morning to end the lease and we’ll be moving. If I were more of the pentacostal/fundie blend I’d probably say something here about God and demons and spiritual warfare, but my theology is more Wesleyan so my mindset is simply, “Shit happens.” But most importantly, we are safe and I have someone to go home and be with in life’s more troubling times. Why would anyone want to deny me that?

PS – Obviously I can only post during the day now, but I’ll try to keep up with near-daily posting.

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Filed under Daily-Life
08/17/06 11:45 AM
by The Blogger

Benton Quest says (Aug 18, 10:05 AM ):
I am happy you and the Beau are ok! I am sorry to hear that your lives, trust, and feeling of security have been violated. Hopefully, a new place will help you return to a feeling of comfort. I am also glad you had each other for support.
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