"I have this dream of beauty and hope."

I’m pretty sure we’ve all been here … in this place of longing, seeking, and dreaming. For gay Christians it’s that much more a difficult thing to find our dream guy/gal … we’re a struggling minority within a minority. On the wider scale, our Christian community won’t accept us for who we love. And within our gay community, our neighbors rarely understand why we stay in our seemingly oppressive faiths.

Here, the words of the masqueraded blogger, describe in beautiful prose his heart:


I have this dream of beauty and hope.

I have this idea – or rather, an ideal – of what my life partner would be like. God knows the number of times I’ve pleaded my list to Him. Of course, the list gets revised from time to time, but, it is essentially the same: a guy who loves God as much – if not more – than I do, who shares my interests, who loves words as much as I do and who will love me as much as I him. Apart from compatibility and chemistry, I look also for symmetry – be it in faith or in passions or in physicality. I don’t just want a relationship; I want a relationship that lasts.

I have this dream of a God-centred, God-honouring, life-long and monogamous relationship.

Is that really a lot to ask for? No, I mean, seriously. Sure it’ll help with the lonely nights and it’ll be swell to have someone with whom to share my joys and sorrows with, but beyond that, I want a racemate: someone who’ll run alongside me in this journey of faith. He’ll encourage me and I him. We’ll pick each other up whenever the other’s down. We’ll share each other’s delights and pains in this race.

We’ll teach each other how to love God more and in so doing, love each other more. And in loving each other, we’ll learn how to love God more.

I have this dream of a wonderful cycle of love.

I want connectivity and togetherness – to share in an intimacy so deep, so loving, so edifying as privy only to two heart-knitted souls.

Is that a lot to ask for?

I’m weary of the nights of crying myself to sleep, unhugged and feeling terribly alone. When will they end? Or will they ever? What’s it like to have someone whisper to you, “Everything’s gonna be okay”, instead of having to train myself to find comfort in my own voice?

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 Filed under Daily-Life
10/03/06 11:43 PM
by The Blogger
  1. masqueraded says (Oct 10, 09:38 AM ):

    hi,

    thanks for linking me. =)

    i hope the words from my heart have touched yours. let us press on in this (sometimes difficult) journey together, yeah?

    God is gracious and ever-faithful. let us not ever forget that. =)

    cheers!
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