Punishment? Not My God.

I’m alive! Though barely. Last week was probably the worst one of my life. Basically, at the last minute, everything went horribly wrong at work and stayed horribly wrong for the next four days. Millions of dollars, the company’s respect in the marketplace, lawsuits, and the professional reputation of some of the best in our industry were all on the line. For a while it looked like all was lost; for four days straight I was in the office no less than 15 hours, battling to keep the project alive and coordinate the international team of colleagues to get us online.

In the end, we made it. But I have to say, in the middle of it all, I had my doubts. Driving the hour and a half from our rest house to the city with the client screaming in my ear, one eye on the speedometer, the other on the horizon watching for cops (I didn’t speed … much), I wondered, “are we being punished?”

Punished?

I freely admit I doubt things sometimes. I’ve written before that I believe any honest Christian will always doubt their salvation, beliefs, dogma, etc, or else they’re just deluding themselves. Every once in a while, when things just aren’t going right, my fundamentalist & legalist brainwashing from ages past kicks in and I think to myself, “God is punishing me for ______.” Fill in the blank with whatever you want: arrogance, pride, not praying enough, missing church last Sunday, checking out that cute boy on the subway just a bit too long, thinking angry thoughts about coworkers, etc.

Let’s think about that for a minute.

The concept of an angry, vengeful god is a clever one. Fear creates compulsory agreement – if religionists can create fear, they can create obedience. It’s worked well for Islamic Jihadists, Christinist/Fundamentalists, the Medieval Catholic Church, and blond college co-eds on the subway.

But is the God of the Christ-following belief, our Jehovah, our Father, the King of Jesus the Messiah, really so evil?

Even the Hebrew Scriptures which point to stories of God waging war against people and enforcing various bits of legal compliance continually point to a loving God who takes care of his stubborn and disobedient people. (Think: For I know the plans I have for you…) The Christian testament even more so focuses on the Grace of God, the Truth behind the Law, and the ever-loving, ever-forgiving, ever-encouraging and abundant gift-giving God. Jesus doesn’t speak of laws and punishments. The concept doesn’t make sense in our understanding of the Christian belief.

So was God punishing me, my entire team, and my company for something? I doubt it, for a very simple reason: We Got It Back Online. Are we stronger, smarter, and faster than a punishing God? Doubtful. Would he have toyed with us? Only if he’s not the God that Jesus said he was. I believe in a God who loves me and blesses me – I believe in the God who gave me the skills and talents to get the job and responsibilities I have, and I believe in the God who will continue to give me the ability to battle the storms of life, like last week’s meltdown. That’s my God … who’s yours?

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 Filed under Daily-Life
07/31/06 11:06 PM
by The Blogger
  1. April says (Aug 1, 09:00 AM ):

    I have to continually remind myself that God wants me to succeed. He’s not sitting “up there,” looking down and expecting me to fail. He’s not throwing obstacles in my path and laughing when I get caught in a snare. He’s not watching my every mistake and immediately sending a suitable punishment.
    He WANTS me to be happy. He WANTS me to be secure in my faith. He WANTS me to be at peace with myself. He WANTS me to succeed. He wants me to stop trying to “do” better, and start relying on him and letting him live through me. So, when I do get angry or arrogant or look a little too long at that cute drummer in the praise band on Sunday morning (how bad is that!), he wants me to simply turn to him, let it go and not wait for the lightning to strike.
  2. John says (Aug 1, 08:57 PM ):

    I read this morning and I was already to say that I don’t think God is punishing you.

    Then I broke my MS Exchange Server leaving my company without e-mail.

    I’m still working and will be for a long while.

    Yep, God nailed me good :)
  3. This Gay Christian Blogger says (Aug 1, 10:07 PM ):

    No, John, I can definately assure you that it is not God punishing you, but your company’s own choice of Microsoft Exchange ;-) Karma kicking you in the butt.
  4. John says (Aug 2, 08:31 PM ):

    MS Exchange is a powerful argument against intelligent design.
  5. This Gay Christian Blogger says (Aug 3, 12:21 AM ):

    HAHA! Cute.

    Could be worse … after all Dante’s Inferno documents the life of a poor Lotus Notes user (shudder … as I sit and stumble through my work email)

    Oh dear, this is getting geeky fast.
  6. The Cult of your nightmares says (Sep 8, 06:36 AM ):

    Since converting to triogism, God has been blessing me more!
    I don’t believe in that whole hell&angels bullshit because I remember my NDE,(I got hypnotised to remember it),I was 1, before baptism, because I was in the hospital battling for my life.
    All it was, was black, with an annoying beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping sound.
    That’s it, no angels or shit like that.
    And why do everybody have different nde’s?The one says it was a gate, the other says it was a bridge…
    Proves that Nde’s are just based on beliefs.
  7. The Cult of your nightmares says (Sep 8, 12:14 PM ):

    So, who’ll reply to my comment.Any volunteers?
 

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